The beginning of summer…I hate summer. Not that I really hate summer but I hate the hot beaming sun. I don’t usually go to the beach or like to lay out in the sun. If you know me then you know that I will do everything in my power to stay away from the sun. But actually the last two summers I have not been that bad. I mean I’ll go to the beach but I will be under my umbrella. And if I do have to stay out in the sun you can be sure I will be either under a shade or umbrella in hand.
So what’s been going on. I always say not much. But that’s the truth. People tend to ask me so what do you on the weekends??? I don’t know but you know what I always tend to be busy on the weekend. Baptism, baby shower, my father being away for two weeks, being a chauffeur to my mother, painting, getting a new bed. There is always something going on. Now I’m getting ready for my parents surprise wedding anniversary which is about two months away. Actually a little less than that. I just started working on the invitations which I hope to bring to full swing this weekend. I also hope to move some furniture to my parents garage that is currently not being used to free up some space. I have also been trying to diet. Which as of right now is at a standstill. I hope by the time my sister comes I can lose ten pounds that would be so ideal for me. That’s a month away till she comes. And then I will see from there how much I like or dislike my body.
It will be a year that me and A have officially been together. I cannot believe that a year has gone by. It feels like so much longer. Is that a good or bad thing. I’m not quite sure yet. I do love him very much and am very thankful to have met him. Sad thing though is that the girl that kinda made it happen. I mean without her I would never have met him. She and I have grown apart. Which I’m sure is more my fault. And honestly right now I feel so bad. The question is will I actually do something about it. Knowing me I won’t do anything about it. I don’t like to have new people too close to me. Which I don’t know why I do. But I just do. Maybe it has something to do with my past.
For a while I was feeling really down about myself. I really did not want to be around anyone. And I just felt so sorry for myself in every aspect of my life. For a good two weeks I was fixated on seeing a therapist. I wanted to try hypnotherapy to get me out of my funk. But none of therapists that contacted accepted insurance and there was no way in hell that I would pay 150 per session. I definitely can’t afford that. Then I was looking into natural antidepressants. I found one that might be ok but I still dunno…I should do something about it tho.
